guess what, i jsut check my email... and, IVE WON TWO TICKETS TO TWILIGHT SNEAK PREVIEW HAHAHAHA OHMYGOD????????? IM SO HAPPY. hahaha. its on the 16th dec at lido... hahaha. i send in the entry thingy guessing i wouldnt win and i did, so yay! i can watch 2 days before it releases,and i can gt some twilight freebies too i think. hehe!

So anyway, okay i just went through an awful period of shit,and ill be mentioning him a lot, and i will stop doing so untill i get over him. so yeh, i mean like if you complain its emo and shit, then just go away? its my personal space and i can express whatever i want.

Aight,I had soccer match tdy, and i didnt know until 1am last night. sooo i only got 4hrs of sleep... gah. and couldnt really concentrate or rather was lazy or rather had him on my mind and it pained me. haha? okay,so we got trashed badly.hahah.oh we played against an australian team and coincidentally ytd when i worked, one of the girls bought something from me and i recognised her. hahah. fate?

After that a few of us went to hang out and talk abt r/s and all that stuff. i know, typical, esp when im gg through it now. hmmm, cherrie is going over to aus during the sec semester and im thinking of aksing my mom to bring me over to study next yr so i skip poly since singapore doesnt have any courses on zoology.sad case huh.so im gonna research now and hopefully get some good stuff to persuade my mom to let me study there asap, okay i know gg overseas to study is just a reality runaway thing for most people and i agree, i want to runaway from reality and all the shit im facing now? i wanna have a new life and environment, hah. the more im thinking abt this the more i hate singapore and the more i wanna go. i have too much bad memories here? okayyyy runaway from reality... yes.

Met J&G and went to L's place to hang out.. we played gunbound,watch dvd and played uno stacker and scrabble. hahaha?okay aftermath of o's are boring, but fun. i dont wanna be left alone at home coz i am afraid of crying and all that so unfortunately, i have to be around people to keep me company. pathetic i know... gah,so Kevin came and we chilled and blahblah and went to amk hub to meet gail after her work for kinda a full clique celebration birthday thingy for Lennon and haha, we had steamboat buffet which I know the restaurant would be so happy to have me coz i barely ate much and paid 14bucks. the rest ate so much i was afraid. haha gail and kevin left at 9 and we stayed and chilled for awhile outside mac's, haha yes typical SG? haha. and laughed. thank you bestfriends for cheering me up, for being there for me, ily'all(:

So, right now, im just..alone. really i am? im just finding everything i can do now to keep myself busy. im gonna jobhunt on friday, ,to gt two jobs although im sitll nt sure coz best havent found me a place at starbucks coz best sis said shes finding me a place which offers higher pay.(: i think raffles is hiring? okay i reallyreally hope i get a busy schedule till april which poly starts, oh wait maybe by then im alrdy off to aus. haha, okay dreams..

And.... my birthday is like what?next friday is my birthday and, haha? i think we;re celebrating by going fishing... ??? hahaha,okayyy

im so afraid of not being able to do anything. ill chekc out my whole week at the start and make sure im have something on everyday, or i will cry and just mop around the house or lie in bed the whole day. i am pathetic, aren't i? ahh,there's work tmrw. ill be alone. again.

loneliness is painful
and ive given up and im proud of myself for having the strength to do so although i check my phone every 5-10mins. pathetic.

okay longpost...